ezyang’s blog

the arc of software bends towards understanding

5 Responses to “NDSEG”

  1. Kim-Ee Yeoh says:

    It’s not about focus. The 1st essay was entirely focused. Because it sets out to do the opposite of the buried nugget in that massive pgbovine link: “Don’t just make it all me, me, me.”

    Briefly the proposal reads: “I did this and I did that. I worked on this and I worked on this. I enjoyed this and I enjoyed that.” The reader ends up screaming, “You unmitigated ass!” [1] The writer’s laser-focused on asking for money to fuel some ongoing solipsistic head trip, money equally well-spent feeding a junkie’s habit.

    [1] http://clear-writing-with-mr-clarity.blogspot.com/2010/08/dale-carnegie-explains-how-empathy.html

  2. Well put. Let the 1st essay serve as a warning of what not to do. (Wish I had this advice when I originally wrote that!)

  3. Jenn says:

    Thank you for posting, this is very useful!

  4. LynneKLR says:

    Thank you for posting both unsuccessful and successful versions! Very helpful. Great second essay, btw. You used an entertaining and engaging voice.

  5. Rashida says:

    Is this for personal statement or research proposal?

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